Ok I admit it. I suck as a member of the blogging community up until now....plenty of comments, but no posts. I guess that's my way of living my life through other people, which is utterly ridiculous considering all the ish that's going on in my own life. Having said that, here is my attempt to redeem myself, and this blog. Hmm...I think I'll start with a series of longer blogs to lay down the foundation for what is going on day to day. Sound good? And I know just where to start....
MY TRIP TO NEW YORK!!!
***my apologies now to my 'long post hating' bloggers....I've been studing narrative qualitative research, and the ish has permeated into every aspect of my communication....so deal!***
After a turbulent 6 months of 15-hr work and school days (grad school is a bitch fo real), family drama, and a very "interesting"dating situation (see the previous post), I decided to say F**K CALIFORNIA and took my ass to the East Coast for a week of rest, relaxation, and actin' a donkey fool! I'd like to thank my boy Reg for encouraging me to invest $ on myself and making the trip out there.....it was WELL worth it.
Day 1:
After a hot mess of a week in preparation for the trip, I found my way on JetBlue Airlines headed to the Big Apple. I had a great time eating premium tortilla chips, taking random pics of 'drool rollin down the face' sleeping passengers, and LAUGHING MY ASS OFF at all the TOMFOOLERY that is being allowed to show on MTV. Oh my sweet jeezus there were folks on there that needed to get fired WITHOUT pension or social security. Made the 5 hours very enjoyable though.
Reg picked me up from the airport, which turned out to be a godsend...this was my first trip to NY, and my dumb ass decided to fly into JFK with no sense of how to find my hotel in midtown Manhattan. Anywho, this was the first time Reg and I met face-to-face, after months of wearing out AIM and our cell phones. From first glance, he seemed like a well put together brotha (well, except for those run-over glasses, but we won't go there :)). But when this fool turned around, things got crucial....this boy had more ass than I did! WTF! Now i know it's bad to have unpure thoughts of your friends, but I couldn't help but notice. So i left in tow of my favorite blogger and a deflated ego :).
First stop was to Queens for Reg's capoeira class. He didn't play, but it was still cool seeing him in his element. His fellow capoeiristas were very nice, and a cool lil' vibe was in the air of that studio. I caught my own head bobbin' and hips moving at several points.
After circling Midtown manhattan for almost an hour trying to find parking that didn't cost like 20 DOLLARS, we arrived at my hotel room, or shall i say my "pod". I was staying in one of those budget hotels, and being the broke ass academian that I am, I jumped at the $70/night accommodations. My dorm room in college was bigger than this room, y'all. 4 walls, a twin bed, sink, and a table. That's it. Despite the serious lack of space, i was delighted to find a small flat screen TV and an Ipod compatible radio up in the mix. The space was perfect for me, but taking a look at that bed killed all expectations of entertaining overnight guests...sigh...
The first night was spent at a Latin/Brazilian club, Bemba, in Brooklyn. I was originally going to hit up the legendary Shawn QT's b-day party in Newark, but I soon realized that NY is big as hell and not the best place to be wandering alone at night. I spent the night cuttin' up and dancing alongside Reg and his friends. His folks were mad cool, especially that cute Colombian girl Gina. She gave me a nickname! I will now be known as "Funky Freaky" while at the club. Hey, what can I say? It had been a minute since i last danced, and when a hot beat comes on my hips and facial expressions have minds of their own...and I'm sure the capirinhas and mojitos didn't help my case either :). Y'all New York folks blow L.A. out of the water when it comes to nightlife...i had a GREAT time.
Day 2:
After a much needed night of rest, I woke up super late and hongry as hell. Hit up this nice lil' French restaurant next door to the hotel. I'm seated at the bar next to this middle aged white lady who was RAISIN' HELL on the wait staff. My first though was "why they got to sit me next to this disgruntled ass heifer!?" However, after she explained why she was all heated, we ended up having a good conversation. A 2 HOUR conversation, complete with champagne and cappuccino. I don't know why the hell I engaged in conversation with this random lady, but it was good talk and I learned a lot about the city. And who says New Yorkers are unfriendly?! Whatever, y'all were cool with me!
After the food, I took a ride uptown to Harlem. I was lookin HELLA rough and needed to make friends with a set o' clippers and a straight razor. Found a barber shop, and got my first real experience of black folks in NY. Y'all are a trip, fo real...new york heads talk twice as much shit at the shop compared to L.A. barbers. They had me lookin' right though so it was all good. Something weird happened though. I mentioned to my barber that I needed to find something to do that night (it was Sunday), and he suggested that I hit up this spot called "Bed" down in Tribeca/West Village. I was like "cool, whatever" thinking this place was a kick-back Neo-Soul lounge or something....boy was I wrong....i'll get into this a bit later.
Jumped back on the train down to the Lower East Side to see Reggie play capoeira...got hung up in a 'traffic jam' on the tracks (how the f*** can u have a traffic jam on some train tracks??) and didn't make it in time. When I finally got there, i missed my chance to see Reg in action. When I stepped to him, all i got was a cold stare and "You're Late." Oops. I could tell he was really pissed, but he TRIED to play it off. thanks for not biting my head off bruh!
After briefly hooking up with Reg and a few of his peeps, I went back to my room and got myself so fresh and so clean for my night out. After catching the wrong train and walking 15 blocks, I found myself in front of "Bed". This was NOT some kick-back lounge. From the outside, it looked like the frickin' Rage, or Factory in West Hollywood! This thugged out barber (whom I assumed was straight) directed me to a friggin gay party...on a SUNDAY! Now keep in mind I never mentioned my orientation to this dude....homeboy read me like a New York Times and sent me to the playground! Looks like my "straight-guy" persona is slowly starting to fade away...oh well!
Needless to say, I acted a damn fool at Bed. As I mentioned before, you New York heads are on some different stuff. At most of the clubs in L.A., you have to deal with pretension, excessive shallowness, and creepy old guys. I didn't get that impression at this joint. The upstairs area (where the hip-hop and latin beats were playin) was full of BEAUTIFUL men of all colors and sizes. Dont get me wrong, there was some triflin' negroes in the mix, but for the most part everybody was cool. I loved how the guys that wanted to meet you actually stepped up and spit game instead of just looking at you from across the room. Being assertive is hot! Anyways, I was treated to some bomb music, hot young men, one FIERCE vogue showdown, good drinks and debauchery until 6 in the morn....and I left the club at 3...u do the math :)
Ok, this is getting really long so I'll end it here. I'll finish this off next post.
J.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
How'd i end up being somebody's groove?
I'm feeling so good today so i'm gonna give it up two times...it's all about the stamina, baby! Ok i better stop. Anywho, I mentioned earlier that I'm talking to a guy right now....what I didn't mention was this guy is older than me...I mean How Stella Got Her Groove Back older. What the f**k did I do to attract this guy? See, this is why I get for wearing some tight in the ass church pants out in public.
At least i can imagine i have one more thing in common with Taye Diggs :). People say I'm resemble him...what do you think?
I personally don't think I do, but the thought of it is HELLA FLATTERING :).
Anyways, I met this guy about 3 Sundays ago (hence my using the term 'church pants'...his phrase actually :)). I went to the library to study, only to find out the place was packed and parking was not gonna happen. The guy (who i'll refer to as YoungAtHeart), was leaving his space. He had his boy hop out the car and stand in the space so I wouldn't miss it. After parking and thanking him, he asked me for the digits. Being the nice guy that I am, and truly appreciating the kind gesture, I hooked him up.
We've hung out a few times since then, which led up to this weekend. We were together from friday night till Sunday morning. I thought i'd be ready to kill him by saturday night, but actually I had a great time being with him. He's exposed me to things that I've always wanted to see/do, but never made the time or effort to commit myself to. I love it when people challenge me out of my zone of familiarity and make me do something different.
I can honestly say that I like the guy. He has a career he loves, is established, has goals, has a nice lil house, and can engage me in thought provoking conversation (a BIG turn on for me). He also has this interesting mix of maturity and youthfulness. We went to a disco club where he and his friends TORE IT UP. I had to pull out some paper and a pen, cuz they took my azz to school! On the flip side, we later went to a hip hop private party and he held his own in my element. Hell, he knew some of the hottest guys that were in attendance!
He's even opened my eyes to new initmate experiences. Nothing too serious, but I'll just say that I'm learning how to enjoy receiving as much I enjoy giving pleasure :). Guys my age just don't seem to understand that intimacy is a 2 way street, but he gets it!
With all of the qualities that attract me to YoungAtHeart come a few issues. First is his use of the term "daddy". It makes me cringe whenever he refers to me or himself as 'daddy'. ESPECIALLY when we are being intimate. Every time it is spoken i think "please don't say daddy...you're damn near old enough to be my daddy...eww." Second, just the age disparity in general causes tension for me. He talks a lot of shit about 'kids today' and the disgrace of hip hop artists today. While I feel he makes some valid points, I find myself defending my youth when he starts talkin out the side of his neck. We got a few looks and comments when we were out, and I was rather put off by the attention we were receiving. I could point out a few more things, but i'm trying not to be so damn critical of everything.
So yeah, i'm at a crossroads. I don't know what to do with this situation. I'm only 24 and have been 'out and about' for less than a year. Part of me wants to avoid tying myself down and explore, while another part of me craves the attention and affection of a boyfriend. YoungAtHeart is a nice guy, treats me the way i like to be treated, and is willing to deal with my crazy schedule and limited access to free time. He tells me he is open to taking this slow, but his action indicate he's looking for a guy to settle down with. Am I at a point in my life where I can handle being in a relationship like this? Can I handle my first boyfriend being almost 20 years older than me? Ugh, i don't know....
Nuggets of wisdom/advice are more than welcome:)
J.
Out of the Closet, and into the Fire
Hey folks!
It's been a hot minute since i last posted, but I'm back!! Yeeaahh booiiii! Right, on to more serious matters.
Life these past few months has been...a rollercoaster. Monday through Friday, my entire existence revolves around my education and off campus job. I'm talking about 15 hour days on a campus, y'all. Alas, that's what needed to keep the pimp hand down in this department, so i gotta handle it! I love it because everything i'm learning and experiencing is on my terms, but dayam! These graduate professors are trying to kill a brotha!
Despite the hot mess of a schedule i endure during the week, I've finally managed to settle into a balance of fun and relaxation on the weekends. I've commited myself to acting a DAMN FOOL on Saturday nights, and that's going well so far. Quite a few scenes of ridiculousness have occurred on these nights....i'll give you the details when time allows.
I've got a lot of ish i gotta get down on this here blog, but I'll start with what's been on my mind and heart recently. Right now, I'm neck deep in the coming out process. The first step was opening up to my close friends and my ex-girlfriend, which was ok. I lost two 'friends' in the process, but our relationships weren't built on shit anyways, so it's all good. Now, i've moved on to family, fraternity, and church...
I've had the talk with my only sister and my 'big' brother. I have 4 bros, but I only have a strong 'big bro-little bro' relationship with one of them. Both of them were a little shocked, but they support me. They are very worried for me though...which i think is soo precious. I can take care of myself, but it feels good knowing if some knuckle head gets crazy, he has not one but 3 crazy negroes ready to cut his ass :)
I'll leave the church for another day...not ready to go there yet. Still praying for strength :).
My parents will know the full extent of my sexuality very soon. I'm currently seeing somebody right now, and me being MIA on the weekends friday-sunday has not gone unnoticed (i currently live at home to avoid poverty as a grad student). I have a policy of being 100% honest with my parents, and i can't stand not telling the full story. As much as I worry about their reaction, I'm certain they have an idea that i'm into men...i've confided in my mother about a guy i 'experimented' with in college, and my dad walked in on me drooling at Jensen Atwood on Noah's Arc a few months back(goddamn that man is on fire).
I'm confident that my parents wont trip too hard when I own up to it, but it's gonna be some different shit when I bring a guy home. It's one thing to hear it, but a totally different thing seeing your youngest son hugged up with a grown ass man. OOH LAWD I hope somebody has a camcorder :) It's just a matter of time before my dad says "Alright son, where the hell have you been these last few weekends??? You been getting some, huh?". When that happens, it will be ON.
Until then, i'll continue to work with passion, and act a damn fool. Peace.
J.
It's been a hot minute since i last posted, but I'm back!! Yeeaahh booiiii! Right, on to more serious matters.
Life these past few months has been...a rollercoaster. Monday through Friday, my entire existence revolves around my education and off campus job. I'm talking about 15 hour days on a campus, y'all. Alas, that's what needed to keep the pimp hand down in this department, so i gotta handle it! I love it because everything i'm learning and experiencing is on my terms, but dayam! These graduate professors are trying to kill a brotha!
Despite the hot mess of a schedule i endure during the week, I've finally managed to settle into a balance of fun and relaxation on the weekends. I've commited myself to acting a DAMN FOOL on Saturday nights, and that's going well so far. Quite a few scenes of ridiculousness have occurred on these nights....i'll give you the details when time allows.
I've got a lot of ish i gotta get down on this here blog, but I'll start with what's been on my mind and heart recently. Right now, I'm neck deep in the coming out process. The first step was opening up to my close friends and my ex-girlfriend, which was ok. I lost two 'friends' in the process, but our relationships weren't built on shit anyways, so it's all good. Now, i've moved on to family, fraternity, and church...
I've had the talk with my only sister and my 'big' brother. I have 4 bros, but I only have a strong 'big bro-little bro' relationship with one of them. Both of them were a little shocked, but they support me. They are very worried for me though...which i think is soo precious. I can take care of myself, but it feels good knowing if some knuckle head gets crazy, he has not one but 3 crazy negroes ready to cut his ass :)
I'll leave the church for another day...not ready to go there yet. Still praying for strength :).
My parents will know the full extent of my sexuality very soon. I'm currently seeing somebody right now, and me being MIA on the weekends friday-sunday has not gone unnoticed (i currently live at home to avoid poverty as a grad student). I have a policy of being 100% honest with my parents, and i can't stand not telling the full story. As much as I worry about their reaction, I'm certain they have an idea that i'm into men...i've confided in my mother about a guy i 'experimented' with in college, and my dad walked in on me drooling at Jensen Atwood on Noah's Arc a few months back(goddamn that man is on fire).
I'm confident that my parents wont trip too hard when I own up to it, but it's gonna be some different shit when I bring a guy home. It's one thing to hear it, but a totally different thing seeing your youngest son hugged up with a grown ass man. OOH LAWD I hope somebody has a camcorder :) It's just a matter of time before my dad says "Alright son, where the hell have you been these last few weekends??? You been getting some, huh?". When that happens, it will be ON.
Until then, i'll continue to work with passion, and act a damn fool. Peace.
J.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Can freakiness be genetically linked?
I'm gonna jump this blog off on a topic that I've been identifying with more and more lately...SEX. After having a rather steamy conversation with my boy Reg about a certain somebody I'm getting to know, i began to think about the complexity of my sexuality. I'm not talking about sexual orientation, however it does play a part in everything. I'm talking about my sexual nature...appetite, compulsions, fantasies, and behaviors. Have any of you really taken a look at how you think, act, and behave sexually? If you haven't and want to take a look, be VERY careful. You could find out that you are one seriously repressed freak, like i did. I truly believe i was born a freak-a-leek, and have been fighting it since puberty. Let me explain.
Let's first examine the circumstances of my conception. I was conceived only 4 weeks after my mom gave birth to my brother closest in age. That means my parents couldn't keep their hands off each other for the mandatory 6 weeks post-delivery. I was conceived on Valentine's Day of 1981 and born on November 11th, making me a boneified Scorpio (and we all know what freaks scorpios can be). Now all that could be dismissed as nonsense...but...it gets better. My mama was ALSO conceived on a Valentine's Day 30 years earlier, being born on November 14th and making her a Scorpio. That means my grandparents were getting busy in the shack on the day of romance to spawn their youngest child just like my parents did. I was conceived on the day of lovin, born under the freakiest sign in zodiac, to a couple of horny ass parents. Okay, let's move on...
I have been exposed to sex for as long as I can remember. As the youngest of 5 boys and a freaky ass sister, I heard a lot and saw a lot as a lil' one. My parents, god bless em, never sugar coated anything related to sex....they gave it to us raw and uncensored. They even shared (and still do share) about their sexual escapades...eww right? But oh no, that is all normal in my household. At the age of 16, my parents questioned me about my sex life...they were afraid i didn't have one! (which i didn't). I received a box of condoms as a gift on prom night from one of my brothers, with specific instructions to use them all before I got home. And the question on everybody's mind during my first winter vacation from college? "Boy, have you gotten any yet?"
If i had responded to them, I would have said "Hell No!" I had a front row seat, watching the consequences of immature sex unfold before me. I saw too many of my brothers and sisters have kids too soon and give up on dreams. Too many pregnant girls and baby-faced daddies walked the halls of my high school. As much as I was a typical horny teenager, I chose to put the "CLINK CLINK" on myself until I was ready to handle being sexually active with maturity. Besides, I saw what happened when guys got that first piece of flesh...they lost they damn mind! I was determined to keep mine. Oh how naive i was...
So yeah, that was the first reason i gave myself for being a prude. The second one surfaced right before I started college. I found myself starting to pay attention to the boys. I never really thought about guys in a physical sense up until that point. You see, one of my roommates freshmen year was a wrestler. While I had absolutely NO physical attraction to him (he's my brotha from anotha motha) I gotta say I appreciated some of the beautiful men on his team. What really set it off was seeing my first wrestling meet...i fell in love with the sport's athleticism, intensity, and...homoeroticism. I gotta admit, after that first meet, i became a fan of wrestling for reasons other than supporting my roommate :).
I had a similar reaction when I started dancing and doing gymnastics. I found myself captivated by these male athletes and artists, so masculine in their strength and power, but performing with a grace and style sometimes more beautiful than the women. I'm not sure if I could say that I was sexually attracted to men, but i definitely held a physical attraction. DEFINITELY.
Now how did i respond to this? I put myself on an even harder lockdown. I still found women sexually attractive, so I pushed my attraction for men aside and buried myself in denial. Big mistake. I probably would have had an enjoyable love and sex life in college if I hadn't hid from my sexuality. Instead, I got even more sexually repressed because I balked at pursuing the women too. I felt as if I couldn't offer them what they deserved because I knew i had some kind of feelings for men. I locked myself down from all intimate contact. Now you just don't do that when you're young, dumb, and full of....you get the picture :)
Pandora whooped my ass for keeping that box closed for so long. I was in Atlanta when the freak emerged. I allowed myself to explore all aspects of my sexuality. And explore I did! My confusion about being more than physically attracted to men went right through the window. Along with it went any remaining sense of sexual restraint i had. Yes, i was a straight up ho for those 5 days. I was exposed to a new world, surrounded by thousands of beautiful chocolate men and women, and I hadn't had a true taste of anything for close to 23 years. What would u do in that situation?
Since that trip, there has been this ongoing struggle in my body. On one side there's the "i'm an honorable, i wanna get to know you, honor you, be your friend first" nice guy. On the other side there's the "oooh i'm so horny, i ain't had none in weeks, u lookin kind of good, i bet i could turn you out real quick" sexually-charged guy. The nice guy usually wins, unless somebody i think is fine decides to flirt with me. Then, it's on. If we become intimate and I find his errogenous zones and hot spots, it becomes like a game. I'll turn on the heat, and listen to him melt...which drives me even more crazy. But it usually ends there, because now the person has been thoroughly satisfied and I have not given them a chance to return the favor...damnit.
So yeah, that's where I am now. I've come to terms with many things, including my freakiness. I have to act prudish...if I didn't i'd be WAY too hot in the ass. I think what I need is to be in a committed relationship, where I can truly feel comfortable letting myself go and receive the pleasure i so eagerly like to give out. When that person comes along, and we click emotionally, spritually, and physically, i hope he (or she?) has taken their vitamins.
Can anybody relate to this? Holla at cha boy.
Dancehard.
Let's first examine the circumstances of my conception. I was conceived only 4 weeks after my mom gave birth to my brother closest in age. That means my parents couldn't keep their hands off each other for the mandatory 6 weeks post-delivery. I was conceived on Valentine's Day of 1981 and born on November 11th, making me a boneified Scorpio (and we all know what freaks scorpios can be). Now all that could be dismissed as nonsense...but...it gets better. My mama was ALSO conceived on a Valentine's Day 30 years earlier, being born on November 14th and making her a Scorpio. That means my grandparents were getting busy in the shack on the day of romance to spawn their youngest child just like my parents did. I was conceived on the day of lovin, born under the freakiest sign in zodiac, to a couple of horny ass parents. Okay, let's move on...
I have been exposed to sex for as long as I can remember. As the youngest of 5 boys and a freaky ass sister, I heard a lot and saw a lot as a lil' one. My parents, god bless em, never sugar coated anything related to sex....they gave it to us raw and uncensored. They even shared (and still do share) about their sexual escapades...eww right? But oh no, that is all normal in my household. At the age of 16, my parents questioned me about my sex life...they were afraid i didn't have one! (which i didn't). I received a box of condoms as a gift on prom night from one of my brothers, with specific instructions to use them all before I got home. And the question on everybody's mind during my first winter vacation from college? "Boy, have you gotten any yet?"
If i had responded to them, I would have said "Hell No!" I had a front row seat, watching the consequences of immature sex unfold before me. I saw too many of my brothers and sisters have kids too soon and give up on dreams. Too many pregnant girls and baby-faced daddies walked the halls of my high school. As much as I was a typical horny teenager, I chose to put the "CLINK CLINK" on myself until I was ready to handle being sexually active with maturity. Besides, I saw what happened when guys got that first piece of flesh...they lost they damn mind! I was determined to keep mine. Oh how naive i was...
So yeah, that was the first reason i gave myself for being a prude. The second one surfaced right before I started college. I found myself starting to pay attention to the boys. I never really thought about guys in a physical sense up until that point. You see, one of my roommates freshmen year was a wrestler. While I had absolutely NO physical attraction to him (he's my brotha from anotha motha) I gotta say I appreciated some of the beautiful men on his team. What really set it off was seeing my first wrestling meet...i fell in love with the sport's athleticism, intensity, and...homoeroticism. I gotta admit, after that first meet, i became a fan of wrestling for reasons other than supporting my roommate :).
I had a similar reaction when I started dancing and doing gymnastics. I found myself captivated by these male athletes and artists, so masculine in their strength and power, but performing with a grace and style sometimes more beautiful than the women. I'm not sure if I could say that I was sexually attracted to men, but i definitely held a physical attraction. DEFINITELY.
Now how did i respond to this? I put myself on an even harder lockdown. I still found women sexually attractive, so I pushed my attraction for men aside and buried myself in denial. Big mistake. I probably would have had an enjoyable love and sex life in college if I hadn't hid from my sexuality. Instead, I got even more sexually repressed because I balked at pursuing the women too. I felt as if I couldn't offer them what they deserved because I knew i had some kind of feelings for men. I locked myself down from all intimate contact. Now you just don't do that when you're young, dumb, and full of....you get the picture :)
Pandora whooped my ass for keeping that box closed for so long. I was in Atlanta when the freak emerged. I allowed myself to explore all aspects of my sexuality. And explore I did! My confusion about being more than physically attracted to men went right through the window. Along with it went any remaining sense of sexual restraint i had. Yes, i was a straight up ho for those 5 days. I was exposed to a new world, surrounded by thousands of beautiful chocolate men and women, and I hadn't had a true taste of anything for close to 23 years. What would u do in that situation?
Since that trip, there has been this ongoing struggle in my body. On one side there's the "i'm an honorable, i wanna get to know you, honor you, be your friend first" nice guy. On the other side there's the "oooh i'm so horny, i ain't had none in weeks, u lookin kind of good, i bet i could turn you out real quick" sexually-charged guy. The nice guy usually wins, unless somebody i think is fine decides to flirt with me. Then, it's on. If we become intimate and I find his errogenous zones and hot spots, it becomes like a game. I'll turn on the heat, and listen to him melt...which drives me even more crazy. But it usually ends there, because now the person has been thoroughly satisfied and I have not given them a chance to return the favor...damnit.
So yeah, that's where I am now. I've come to terms with many things, including my freakiness. I have to act prudish...if I didn't i'd be WAY too hot in the ass. I think what I need is to be in a committed relationship, where I can truly feel comfortable letting myself go and receive the pleasure i so eagerly like to give out. When that person comes along, and we click emotionally, spritually, and physically, i hope he (or she?) has taken their vitamins.
Can anybody relate to this? Holla at cha boy.
Dancehard.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
A New Blog, A New Beginning
Please excuse the cheesy title...i couldn't think of anything else to call this thing. First of all, thanks for coming over and chillin at my lil slice of the internet. Like the title says, this blog marks a new chapter in my life...a chapter where I have learned, through many trials, triumphs, and tribulations, that life is too valuable and worthwhile to squnder with fear, insecurity, and inaction. I'm through with living life by the rules and expectations of others. No, that doesn't mean i'm tossing the F***K YOU at any one in particular, it means that I'm gonna do me, whatever and whomever it may be at any given point. For all of you that know me, I'm still going to be that same reliable, caring, sensitive, poised but ETHNIC at tha drop of a hat, guy. However, you will see is a deeper side....the raw, in your face side that scared me for the longest time. I've actually grown some balls and am going to let them hang. So yeah, I hope you all (new friends and old) enjoy a glimpse into my life.
Be warned...many of these posts you will read will be hella random. I have a lot of stuff running through this mind of mine, and putting it down in writing is how I keep everythang moving. Ahh, writing can be so cathartic...wouldn't you agree? Expect to find stuff about romance, sex (I was a virgin for all of 23 years....that's a lot of freak to be repressed for so long!), my CRAZY ASS family (gotta love em), sexuality (this will be a big one folks), friends, school, politics, and whatever else seems fun to write about. Let the journey begin!
Be warned...many of these posts you will read will be hella random. I have a lot of stuff running through this mind of mine, and putting it down in writing is how I keep everythang moving. Ahh, writing can be so cathartic...wouldn't you agree? Expect to find stuff about romance, sex (I was a virgin for all of 23 years....that's a lot of freak to be repressed for so long!), my CRAZY ASS family (gotta love em), sexuality (this will be a big one folks), friends, school, politics, and whatever else seems fun to write about. Let the journey begin!
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