Thursday, August 21, 2008

"I needed to get laid so I did"...

"I'm not like you Glo. I just need somebody to hold me...even if it is a damn lie."

Another one of my famously unpublished entries...with a twist :)

Well not really, but that's how I feel right now. Just like Bernadine from "Waiting to Exhale" except I'm not going through a bitter divorce with a unscrupulous Uncle Tom. Hell my situation is the exact opposite, I'm chronically single :) And frankly it's starting to get REALLY old.

I seem to be having a spot of bad luck when it comes to the brothas. It seems that the few guys I'm feeling right now are out of pocket for one reason or guy will soon be a colleague and already has a man, another I LIVE for but we've run into some "compatibility issues" (as in he's a strict top and I'm versatile but he has ass for DAYS so I want both)...and the other could potentially be my best gay male friend and I don't wanna complicate the friendship.

Am I making excuses? Maybe. Part of me is like "To hell with playing it safe...push the envelope and deal with the results!" I only wish it were that easy with me. For some reason, I have a lapse of confidence when it comes to actively pursuing dudes that I consider "10s". Usually the men in question are well educated, very attractive, somewhat older, have gained a certain degree of success, and have mucho charisma. I find myself comparing to them, and falling short. I seek out my flaws, magnify them, and hesitate.

It's a vicious cycle that's really messing me up romantically. I shut down, question myself, then get hella guarded. In the meantime, I go on untouched, unkissed, and un-f**..well you get the picture.

The Twist:

Just as I was about to post this entry, I run into the "Ivy League Cutie."

1 comment:

TheBlacks said...

He's coming your WAY soon - I believe it!